"We plot. We plan. We assume things are going to go a certain way. And when they don’t, we find ourselves in a new place—a place we haven’t been before, a place we never would have imagined on our own. It is the difficult and the unexpected, and maybe even the tragic, that opens us up and frees us to see things in new ways. Many of the most significant moments in our lives come not because it all went right but because it all fell apart. Suffering does that. It hurts, but it also creates."
This is from the back cover of Rob Bell's new book, Drops Like Stars. And it pretty much sums up where I am right now.
No, I am not comparing my life to the countless millions who live in poverty, war zones, or prostitution. But I am learning what it is like to endure. To watch while your carefully laid plans and cherished hopes lie around you in a smoldering heap. Because it went wrong. Because I had my heart broken. Because God threw a grenade at my plan in order to draw me closer to Him.
I love that He does that. Even though it hurts, I love that He put me back on the path toward my dream. I love that things didn't go my way, because if they had I would be stuck right now. I wouldn't have the new friends I've made. I wouldn't be filled with joy at the new experiences and the learning and the creativity.
They say that hind sight is 20/20. I've learned the difficult lesson of guarding my heart. He broke my heart, but I share equal blame in giving my heart so freely to someone who didn't treasure it. It hurts. The ache has lessened since I have begun making a conscious effort to forgive.
